At some point during your life you will have to go to a funeral, it’s just a simple fact that 100% of humans on the planet today will die. You might be reading this going, “What the ?!?!?, this is only the second post on this site and he goes here?”, but the fact remains that sooner or later you will get the call that a friend or family member has passed on and you now have to go and pay your final respects.
This is something that I had to do just this week, an old friend and distant relative of mine passed away, and I went to the showing. I find funerals to be interesting in some ways, if you go to enough of them you start to see patterns, now I am not referring to the standard things, like the guest book that you sign, or the line of family that you have to go through to make your way to the body. No I am talking about human behaviour
You always see that one person in the line that is to happy to be there, like the only way that they can manifest their grief is through putting on a cheery face. You find the one person who you can tell is putting on a brave face, the one who is just that close to a mental break down and there are the ones like the one I was just at, where the parents are burying a child.
That is a rough one, and I have the nothing but sympathy for the parents in that situation. Everyone knows that parents aren’t supposed to out live their children, and now as a father my self I wonder how I would hold up in this type of situation, would I be putting on the brave face, or uncontrollably mourning my loss? I can’t say, nor do I want to find out.
Another thing that I find is a pattern at funerals are the platitudes we all use, such as “He’s in a better place.” or “At least she is no longer in pain.” These always make me think, but what if they aren’t in a better place, or what if they are in more pain? We don’t actually know where these people went, but I have noticed that everyone assumes that the deceased is in heaven, running around with the angels, looking down and smiling at the out pouring of love that is being shown to those whom have been left behind. It seems that no one wishes to entertain the possibility that maybe, just maybe their loved ones are not in a better place, but they may in fact be in a worse place, that the time they have on the earth was as good as it’s going to get. Don’t get me wrong, I would never voice these things to someone who just lost a family member, but I do feel that it is insane for people to think that someone who is known to be of questionable character, that never did a good thing in the lives, and made themselves peoples worst nightmare would be in the clouds with the angels.
I don’t know where my friend ended up, we had lost touch over these last few years so I don’t know the path my friend was on in the end. I hope that my friend is indeed in a better place, feeling no pain and living it up on the other side.
I will keep this family in my prayers as they go through this difficult time of mourning and loss.